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I’ve been reading about marriage. I love reading about marriage. Actually, I love reading about relationships and God’s intentions in them.

Before I was married I loved reading about singleness. I gobbled ¬†up a lot of those books (however I came to realize there are more bad books about singleness than good ones- my fair warning). Then a sweet gentleman stepped into my life which got me reading books on dating, because I was kind of stuck in the single world. I needed a little advice if this was going to work. After that sweet gentleman offered me a pretty diamond ring, I figured I should probably start reading some books about marriage. One friend told me, don’t rely on those books too much. Once you read a couple you’ll probably have enough wisdom to go on your own. But for me the thing about reading is the gentle reminders. Sure, by now I’ve probably read a chapter about respecting my husband written in six different books, with similar points, just worded differently, but these are the gentle reminders I need.

Tonight I found one of those reminders again. This time I wasn’t even reading a book about marriage. I was reading a book about Worship which had a chapter in it about marriage (I think the marriage wisdom keeps following me)!

As I was reading I got this feeling that I needed to stop. There was nothing new about what I was reading, but something told me I needed to pray.

  1. Pray for myself as a wife- for my desire to be a good and godly wife, for my actions to speak the love of Christ to my friends, my husband, and strangers. I need to pray for my first love to always be my God, and for the struggles I face in marriage.
  2. Pray for my husband- I believe I know him well enough to know what he struggles with, to know what God is doing in his life, and to pray a prayer of blessing over him. I could easily pray for him like I prayed for myself. I was ready to hop on to part 3…
  3. Pray for us as a couple. I had this perfectly planned in this spontaneous moment. I was going to pray that we honor God as a couple, that we make time for God in our lives to pray, worship and study. I was going to pray that our marriage would be an example of God’s love and an example to others.

BUT WAIT

I couldn’t get that far. I got to Part 2 and suddenly my praying went in an unexpected direction. Suddenly I started praying about love in my husband’s life, and I didn’t stop there. My original plan was gone and I was following a new pattern. If I told my group of Sunday School kids at church the first couple of words I prayed over my husband they could probably tell you the rest of the words because they sing a silly song that goes like this:

The fruit of the spirit’s not a coconut. The fruit of the spirit’s not a coconut. If you want to be a coconut, you might as well hear it you can’t be a fruit of the spirit. Cuz the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control…

That’s it right there… The fruit of the spirit. As I prayed it seemed so right and so God-inspired. I see blogs and books and articles about praying over your husband or spouse. I’m sure someone (probably many!) people have thought about this before, but sometimes we need those reminders, just like I need those gentle reminders in my marriage books. Maybe it will help you in praying for your husband (or future spouse, boyfriend, or father, or brother, or wife, girlfriend, etc).

Here was my layout to my prayer:

Love- pray that God is your husband’s first love. That He learns to love God passionately and expressively in His own unique way. Pray that God’s love would be rooted deep inside Him and that love would overflow into the other areas of his life. Pray for Him to show God’s love to you, so that you can see a beautiful picture of our loving Jesus.

Joy- Pray that your husband would experience the ‘Joy of our salvation’ (Psalm 51:12) in his life, and that God’s joy (not simply happiness) would fill Him. Pray that he would experience joy in every area of His life, even when things are not so easy, and that his joy would be a light and encouragement to others.

Peace- Pray that God’s peace would ‘guard your husband’s heart.’ (Philippians 4:7) In the midst of stress, difficulties, and uncertainty may God’s peace and calm rule and guard Him. May his mind and heart be steadfast and set on God because of His perfect peace.

Patience- Pray your husband would be a man of patience. Pray for the places in His life that you know he struggles with patience, and thank God for the patience you see evident in His life. Pray that He would be patient with others, with your children (if you have them or want to have them someday), and with God when things aren’t going as your husband thought they would.

Kindness- Pray that kindness would be a driving force in your husband’s life. In an age where men are admired for their strength, let us pray (and encourage) our husbands in their humbleness, meekness, gentleness, and sensitivity to show kindness to others when it isn’t easy (or considered ‘masculine’). Pray that your husband can show kindness to children, to friends, family, co-workers, the elderly, those who rub him the wrong way, those in need, and the strangers he comes in contact.

Goodness- Pray that goodness would be His guide- That when making choices, those choices are good. When he speaks, that He speaks with integrity and goodness. When he must choose between culture, power, money, and passion, pray he chooses goodness first. And pray that all of the thoughts that go through his mind are good and pure.

Faithfulness- Pray that faithfulness is the core of your husband’s relationship with you and with God. Doubts and struggles in His relationships with God are understandable, but pray that even in the midst of adversity, He is always found faithful by God. And in a world that belittles faithfulness (in marriages), ask God to make this a core value in your husband.

Gentleness-Pray that God’s ‘gentleness would be evident’ to everyone in your husband’s life (Philippians 4:5). Pray that he takes a humble approach to the world, and doesn’t think too much of himself to serve gently and humbly.

Self-Control- Pray that every part of your husband’s being be in submission to God. When lust creeps in, when His eyes want to wander, when something online, on tv, in pictures or behind closed doors calls His name, pray that God would give Him the strength to resist and to focus His eyes on what is true, noble, good, and right. Pray against the struggles that he may face daily, and that God would equip Him to guard His heart, His mind, and His loved ones in honorable and controlled ways.

That’s how my prayers for my husband have looked lately. Maybe this will ignite a spark as you pray for a special person (or people) in your life