What if Heaven isn’t what we expected?

What if Heaven isn’t at all what we pictured?

We think of Heaven and we think of: Golden gates, angels, streets of gold, mansions, white robes, perfection, no crying, feasts of food, singing…

But what if what we have pictured it all wrong? Some things we have heard about heaven could be true, but there is a lot of unbiblical ideas we have about heaven.

I just finished reading a book about a bus full of people who basically take a field trip from hell to heaven. In our mind’s eye, we assume that anyone who sees heaven would want to stay, but that’s not the case with this group of people. One after another, each of these people has some reason to return back to the hell they came from. Now, this is a fictional story, but it makes you think. As I read and met each of the characters on the bus I started to think about how everything I have ever thought about heaven could be false. As I read each character’s story and see their objections to heaven these questions came to mind about heaven. Read them and see if they make you think differently..

-What if the people you see in Heaven aren’t who you think they should be? Perhaps you didn’t think they were a good person, or perhaps they hurt you or many other people. What if?

-What if heaven doesn’t share the same opinions as you? And you think your opinions are right…. are you willing to give them up?

-What if heaven answers all of our questions but not in the way we want? Many people anxiously await the day they can ask God face to face all of the questions that have baffled us, but what if we didn’t get the answers we wanted to hear?

-What if heaven messes up your plans? What if you die before you think you are ready? What if heaven feels more like an interruption?

-What if heaven doesn’t allow you to do the things you loved on earth? What if the gifts you had on earth are not necessary in heaven? Would you be willing to give them up?

-What if heaven requires work on your part? In this book, the new arrivals in heaven quickly find that their bodies aren’t strong enough to handle their environment and in order to gain strength them must endure pain first. Would you be willing to go through another struggle after you die?

-What if you don’t look like you think you should? Many people have this idea of what they will look like in heaven. They think of perfection- whatever that means to them. But what if your appearance wasn’t what you expected, what you wanted, or what you were planning on?

-What if Heaven isn’t all about you? (which I’m pretty confident is true)

-Would you believe in a God who keeps families apart? In the book, a mother longs so much for her child that she can’t open her eyes to anything else in heaven. There is an awful lot of people who’s main expectation in heaven is to be with their loved ones, but what if that isn’t what happens?

- Can you be in heaven where there is no marriage? We can taste the best that earthly relationships can offer on earth through marriage but even Jesus himself said that there is no marriage in heaven. I could go on and on about this, but many people can’t get past the idea that there is no sex in heaven and no marriage. Can you?

When I think about Heaven, I have one thing I want… I want Jesus. Some things in this book really made me think differently, but I know that I am willing to give up anything if I can be with my Jesus.

Who do you say I am?

Once when Jesus was praying in private and his disciples were with him, He asked them, “Who do the crowds say I am?”

 They replied, “Some say John the Baptist; others say Elijah; and still others, that one of the prophets of long ago has come back to life.”

 “But what about you?” he asked. “Who do you say I am?”

There are lots and lots of people who claim to be Christians, but what does that mean? Does that simply mean you believe in Jesus? Or that you go to church? Or that you aren’t opposed to church? Or that you don’t like church but you like Jesus? Or that you celebrate Christmas and Easter? Or that you are a good person? Or that you believe there is some being behind the creation of the world and since a majority of Americans are Christians, you’ll go with that? etc…

Sometimes when people tell me they are a Christian, I want to ask- Why?

Honestly I don’t think we ask that of ourselves enough. If someone asked me why I call myself a Christian I know what I would say, and I think many others would give very unique answers, but I’m pretty sure a question like this would leave a lot of people at a loss for words because many people have never even thought about why they would consider themselves a Christian.

Being a so-called “Christian,” “Follower of Christ,” or whatever you want to call it relies on why we are a Christian. Just because your family celebrates doesn’t mean you are a Christian. It isn’t something you inherit. Just because you celebrate Christmas and Easter doesn’t mean you are a Christian. As Richard Blackby says: “All of your activity with God is based on your understanding of who He is.”

I think of what Jesus said to His disciples in the Scripture above. He first asked them who people said He was. But He didn’t stop there. Because what others think doesn’t matter as much as what we personally think. Jesus then asked ‘Who do you say I am?”

I don’t think that question lingered long in the air before Peter spoke out and was the first to say that Jesus was ‘The Messiah“- The one coming to save God’s people.

We are a culture that loves the bandwagon. We love to join the crowd or the majority. So if everyone around us says they are Christians, we can easily assume we are too. But Jesus is about personal relationship. If He asks us who we think He is, He doesn’t want you to tell Him what others say. He wants to know what you have to say.

Unfortunately, I think many of us would find ourselves at a loss for words if we were asked “Who do you say I am?

All about a baby?

Sure birthdays are special. And the birth of a newborn baby is too. But if many really think about it, annually celebrating the birth of a baby 2000 years ago that they don’t know seems a little excessive. It probably would to me too if I didn’t know the significance. Newborn babies are special but try to wrap your mind around this:

In the beginning God created the Heavens and the Earth. Already we know this isn’t just someone to take lightly. He formed everything on the earth and beyond. He made it to perfection, and He made beings- like Himself. This was perfection. Perfection we can’t even imagine. But then everything got messed up- blame it on those people- or on that snake. Suddenly perfection was lost, and everything is falling apart at the seams. Literally everything. For years on end families are broken, people are killed, people are stealing, and people are lost and homeless. These people have become selfish, self-absorbed, and evil. This God- this huge God who has power over everything could put an end to it all, but that means He is taking away the initial power He wanted His beings to have. He gives them the choice daily to enter into a life that is as close to that original plan that they can experience, or they can choose a different way. Over and over again, God tries to remind them of this promise, but still they don’t understand. They don’t understand how big this God is and what He can do for them and through them. This big God tries to do whatever He can. What can He do to get the attention of the whole world? What would change everything?

If only God could come to earth to show us the way. Obviously this long-distance thing isn’t going so well. But what kind of God can come onto the creation He has made and become like one of the people He made? He is too big. But it is possible. He is going to send the best present this world has ever seen, the most precious thing to Him- His son.

A son who is essentially God too. But why would someone who lives in such a perfect heavenly realm ever want to be with us? …. Because God loves us and wants us (to put it simply).

So this huge God took a part of Himself and sent it to earth. But not only that, this Huge God came as a tiny baby. To put this contrast of big to small in a different way- imagine a lion- king of the jungle who feels bad for all of the weak ants so he comes as a baby ant. Why would any Huge God want to become so tiny? Because He wanted His son to be equal to us (or perhaps even lower in equality). This tiny baby came and not in a castle or with a grand ball like we throw for Him each year. He came to a homeless couple essentially in a stable- basically a cave/barn for animals. He was born amongst animals not beauty. Amongst animal poop rather than gold. You can’t start off much more humble than that.

He [Jesus] made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness.  And being found in appearance as a man, 
He humbled himself… ~Phil 2

He didn’t have to come. God could have just stayed where He was and pour out His love on us daily hoping we would find it. But He had a better plan. So it’s not just about a baby. It’s a huge God who decided to be tiny like us in hopes of showing us what He is like, essentially what Love is like. And the most important point- Christmas is just the beginning, the story only gets better from here on out.

the good path

When it comes to the journeys we take in life, I often think it’s best that we don’t know what’s ahead, rather we just brace ourselves for the unexpected and hope that God carries us through the hard times. But what about those hard times? Those times you feel alone? Those times you wonder if you are on the right path, or perhaps you are walking in the wrong direction. It’s easy to question. It’s easy to find fault in the path and in our lives, and it’s easy to find fault with God. But He is perfect, and so are His ways.

I don’t know what is ahead of me and that can be pretty scary. But I think its our own worries that ignite our fears the most.

When I step back and see the places God has brought me I can finally recognize that although the path He has for us isn’t easy, I am a better person because of the journey I have taken so far in my life. So in honor of the places God has taken me I wrote this song below from the perspective of me a few years back- when I didn’t know what was ahead of me and if I had known I probably wouldn’t have liked it very well. But in the end, I realize that I am thankful for what God has done with me on this journey. (Sorry the song doesn’t have a name yet. If you have ideas- send them to me : )

Looks like a long road from way back here. But you said You won’t leave me, so I will not fear.

But when I’m walking and when I stumble, I’m wondering where you are.

Is this the right path to travel? or have I gone too far?

Why is this narrow path so hidden that I can’t find my way home?

You say You’re always near, I shouldn’t fear, so why do I feel alone?

You are my hiding place, my safe refuge, I’ll always run to you.

So won’t you come so near that there is no denying You are near.

I’m tired of this journey that never seems to end.

You say there’s hope beyond me, light will come just around the bend.

But when I’m walking and I stumble, I’m wondering where You are.

Is this the right path to travel or have I gone to far?

Why is this narrow path so hidden I can’t find my way home?

You say You’re always near, I shouldn’t fear, so why do I feel alone?

You are my hiding place, my safe refuge, I’ll always run to You.

So won’t you come so near that there is no denying You are here

But then You pick me up, in Your strong and gentle arms.

At first I struggle, til I realize I’m home.

Maybe this journey’s not about the destination you try to find.

You think you’re lost and all alone but Home’s been with you all the time.

Because You are near, yes You are Near. There’s no denying You are here.

You are Love, You are peace, You’re the Home that carries me.

And when I stumble and if I fall

He picks me up in His capable arms, and I know…

it’s a good path You’ve brought me on.

Voicemails and one-sided conversations

I have been told by numerous friends that I leave very entertaining messages on their voicemail. I would call it something more like- ramblings on their voicemail. This is how I see it- if I am calling a friend, there is a reason I am calling, so even if they aren’t there I’m either going to tell them whatever I wanted to tell them or I am going to make sure to ramble on about random stuff as if they were there. Makes long distant friendships easier in my opinion.

For someone who doesn’t understand a person who talks fairly fast, my voicemails probably aren’t very audible, because I babble. For some reason after I left my last babbling message I started to think about prayer life and how unfortunately it’s terribly easy to just babble off our prayers to God as if we were leaving them on His voicemail. There is a lesson I have learned in the last 6 months- phones are bad communicators. I don’t care if it’s a voicemail, a text message, or even a phone call- in person is so much better. (Perhaps that’s the reason I don’t really like using the phone.)

So if phones aren’t the best form of talking to people, why do we have a phone-like conversation with God? Yes I know it’s hard to have a conversation with a God who isn’t visible like a person is, but that doesn’t mean we can’t have a dignified conversation with Him, because He is present in our lives. He does hear what we have to say, and He also wants to be heard.

Ever been in a one sided-conversation? The other person goes on and on and you wonder if they remember you are even there. It’s not fun. It doesn’t seem very fair, and a one sided- conversation doesn’t really benefit either side much. One person does all of the talking for their benefit, but really all they are doing is saying what is rolling around in their head all the time and someone else happens to be around. And that poor other person doesn’t get a word in, not a hint of advice, or even encouragement. They are basically being used.

Is that what we do to God when we just carelessly throw Him our prayers and hope He does something about them?

We live in a culture where everything has to be quick, multi-tasking is a must, and quiet/solitude is rare, if ever. I know my prayer life is affected by all of those things. I would say I have a prayer life, and I would say I am in constant communication with God but it’s more like sending Him text messages. I randomly think of a friend in need so I throw a prayer up. I remember how a friend is having a hard time, so out goes another quick prayer. I think of something I’m grateful for so I include it while I’m thinking of it, but we lack the other end of communication. We wonder why we don’t hear from God when we throw up our prayers to Him and then turn our music or tv louder.

This week I am focusing on quiet. Kind of rare. I have been driving back and forth from Kalamazoo to Byron Center listening to anything I can find on the radio. I honestly am not a huge lover of Christmas music and I can only take so much, so I skip from one song to the next hoping to find something to block out the silence in my car. Then I realized, I’m blocking out any chance of hearing from God. So I drive to work in silence- honestly, I think it’s way better than listening to songs you really don’t care that much about anyways.

There is something refreshing about the quiet. Kind of like a fresh cold drink of water. And for some reason I think God appreciates the quiet. He appreciates the chance that we might hear His still small whisper. Because God doesn’t shout, so if we continually interrupt Him in our one-sided conversation He will continually whisper gently, hoping that His soothing voice will bring us back from the chaos in our lives. And when we send Him those rambling voicemail prayers, He doesn’t ignore them, and He will respond if we let Him and if we don’t let the loud music, tv, and conversations we have get in the way.

What if you knew that God was waiting around trying to tell you something, or perhaps He’s been whispering it for a long time but you have shut Him out? What if these were the words your really really needed to hear? A piece of wisdom… a word of encouragement… or maybe something your heart has longed to hear for a long time now. Would you be willing to sit and listen and wait? Would you be willing to stop talking so that He could get a word in, and would you be willing to just be still in His presence? Maybe that’s what we all need more of. More God time and less voicemails and one- sided conversations.

His way is perfect

What happens when everything is falling apart? When our friends fail us, our family lets us down, our health is shaky, our jobs insecure, our loved ones hurt, and nothing seems to be going right…

When I look at everything that could be going wrong I understand how insignificant my problems are. You may begin to think- nothing worse could happen this week, and then you are reminded that a lot of worse things could happen.

Let’s just say this hasn’t been my week. Earlier I had a doctor appointment that didn’t have such good results which has turned my week around. Then there was today. I wake up to a black ice weather advisory, but that can’t stop me. I have to be at church. Well, let’s just say that black ice tried to stop me. It threw me in a ditch, but miraculously I ended up back on the road after my crazy trip off. For a moment I thought I was ok, but figured I should pull off the road to make sure. Apparently everything wasn’t ok. My entire back windshield was shattered into the back seat of my car. You would think I would have heard that. Apparently I was distracted by the bumps going on, and somewhere in there I must have hit a tree or a guard rail. I can’t find my phone because it was thrown under my seat from the impact of my crazy ride, so I find myself at an older couple’s house that reminded me of my grandparents who thankfully happened to be awake at 7am so that I could use their phone to call home.

I’m on the road eventually in my dad’s truck, driving carefully over the other areas covered in black ice. I see plenty of other tracks that have gone off the road and am assured I’m not the only one. So what do I do now? I am considerably shook up but I don’t want to go home. I want to be at church. So I drive in the solitude of the truck, singing to Jesus. Because in the midst of a rough week I know He is still good.

Its funny how the other day I came across a verse that says:

As for God, his way is perfect: 
   The LORD’s word is flawless; 
   He shields all who take refuge in him. 
 For who is God besides the LORD? 
   And who is the Rock except our God?  ~2 Samuel 22:31-32

Have you ever had a week like this? When everything just seemed to be slowly falling apart? It’s these times that I need to have a Rock. I need a God who is near. And I know that His ways is perfect. It is funny how many songs I have started to write due to the experiences this week and that verse above, but it all goes back to God. I don’t know the right way a lot of the time. My plans fail. The people around me can fail me. My health can throw me for a loop or I can suddenly find myself in a ditch wondering whether I should invest money into fixing my car or just buy a new one. That’s when I  say: God is good and His way is perfect. Life has really tried to rock my boat this week, but sitting in church my next thought was- good thing I know the one who calms the storms and waves. His way is perfect.

The Cell

We have a way of turning our lives into prisons.

A guard walks you to your cell.

You feel the suffocating presence of your new home.

Every possible way of escaping runs through your mind.

You had dreams of what your life would look like…

And this is not it.

During the night, you wake in a panic.

Fearing that you will waste your entire life in here.

You sink into despair.

The days continue to pass.

Despair turns into acceptance.

You hate everything about this place.

But deep down, you start to believe that you really do belong here.

Months turn into years.

You start to become so familiar with these walls that without realizing it….

You stop dreaming about ever leaving.

A horrible noise wakes you during the night.

A man stands in the doorway.

He has paid your bail. You are free to leave.

Instead of rejoicing, you become paralyzed with fear.

This place is all you have come to know.

This is where you belong.

This is where you feel safe.

You tell Him that you’d like to leave, but you can’t.

This cell is your home now.

With a heavy heart, He honors your decision.

You close the door as He walks away.

 

That is the power of sin. Sin has a way of trapping us in a prison of shame and guilt.

 

(Dan Stevers movie)

The journey ahead.

I find it ironic that just this week I have been thanking God for the trials He has brought me through and then today I realize I have to go through that same trial again.

Today seemed like such a promising day to start off. I showed up to my favorite job and was welcomed by a bouquet of Michigan Holly (which is absolutely beautiful) at my desk. I figured this had to be a good day. But I was only going to be at work for a short time before I would meet my mom to go to the doctors, and this doctor appointment seemed quite crucial.

Doctor appointments aren’t rare for me and I actually enjoy them. I like my doctor. We’re pretty good buddies. Most people can’t say that their doctor gives them a hug before they leave the office. After about a month of weird stuff going on, we were ready with questions and were hopeful that my blood work and other tests would show something.

For some reason I was anxious to find what was going on, and we did. But when you find something wrong it takes time to fix it. Here came my lab tests and there was a reminder of my past- what God brought me through in college. Here I thought this was in my past but it’s back again in a worse form. Oh joy

But as I drive home every song on the radio was speaking to me. God is with me. He never leaves. He is good. He is strong. He can do anything. That brought me to thing about the song I wrote earlier this week. I wrote it out of a thankful heart. I pictured where I was several years ago and if I had seen the road ahead of me I know I would have been pretty scared. It’s probably a good thing I didn’t know what was up ahead of me, but God did. After seeing where God has brought me I wrote a song about those terrifying times and how in the end you learn that the path God is leading you on is the best one. Suddenly this song has a whole new meaning when I know I could have another difficult journey before me. It’s funny how those kind of things happen. But I think that song was from God to be a comfort for me in the coming journey. Even before I knew the news God was showing His gentle, compassionate love, and comfort. He certainly is good.

Scary Prayers

There are some things people say you should be cautious about praying for. I think I prayed for one of those things today.

For example: Praying for humility. or Praying for patience. or the one I prayed for today – Praying God takes you out of your comfort zone for His glory.

When I prayed that prayer today I suddenly stopped after I said it. I started to hear all of those voices of warning- ‘Be careful what you ask for.’ ‘That’s an awfully dangerous prayer request.’ ‘Get ready to go for a crazy ride.’ Suddenly I wondered if I shouldn’t have prayed that prayer, but I quickly dismissed that and asked this ‘what if’ question instead:

What if we never prayed for all of the things we wanted to be simply because we were too scared of what would happen on the way to being that person?

If that was too wordy for you, read it again.

If we never prayed to be patient, I doubt we would find the kind of patience we long for in life.

If we never prayed to be humble, we wouldn’t ever truly experience the beauty of humility that Christ showed us.

Then there are all of those other struggles we personally have and are too scared or stubborn to ask God for help with. For example those who have trust issues often don’t pray for a renewed sense of trust. Those who have been hurt by love too much rarely pray a prayer of longing to love or be loved.

For some reason we sell ourselves short of what we could be. I am not saying that journeys in which we seek humility or patience or something else that we struggle with are easy. But I can’t name anything in this life that doesn’t require work or a struggle to find the blessing.

I think it’s even worse when we warn others about their prayers. If God has laid patience on a person’s heart let them strive for patience. If a person wants to be more humble- thanks be to God that He showed us humility and may we all of us want to be more like that person.

So ask, because if you ask for it in God’s name, I know He hears and He gives. Sure there may be a journey to walk, but any journey for God’s sake will never be regretted.

When email writes your story

I think my email account could tell my life’s story better than I could. I was reminded of this today when I went to clean out my email. I (like many people) have several emails. I have my work email. Then I have my hotmail- the email I give to everyone- including friends, family, even businesses. Once in a while I get good emails there but I basically think of it as my junk email where I get coupons and such (some I want, many that I don’t want). Then besides that I have my SAU email that I rarely check since being out of school and my gmail which someone set up for me in a class in college. Only reason I use it is for google+ (which I don’t even use).

Anyways, today I decided it was time to go through my junk email (AKA my hotmail). In a given day I probably get about 20 emails there. Most of them I don’t care about so I don’t even look at them. After doing this for a long period of time you end up having a mass amount of emails. I think I had like 1000+ and about 200 I had never read. I am not the type to just delete them all. Some I would like to keep. So I started slowly through the many pages of emails deleting them here and there. As I went through them, I realized that if someone were to read my emails they would learn quite a bit about me, especially since my emails go back several years.

Imagine what people would see if you never deleted any of your emails? Perhaps your email would tell a lot about you too.

I have kept emails that inspired me or made my day. I also have kept emails that have made me sad or were disappointing. I rather like it that my email is a reflection of my life.

So here is your sneak peak of my life in emails. If you were to look at my email you would see that:

-My mom is my closest friends and we go back and forth a lot in conversation. She encourages me on the bad days and helps me with the stuff life continually throws at me.

-My work schedule at Cold Stone.

-What my brother in Arizona is up to. Pictures, videos, and such.

-Which of my friends actually uses email to contact me.

-My hobbies, side jobs, and places I like to shop.

But here is where it gets interesting. Here is where my email tells my life story-

-In the last pages of my email You will see who my first boyfriend was (but you would really have to guess since there aren’t many emails haha).

-You would see the times I was sick at school and my mom’s worried emails. Let’s just say those were some tough years. Plenty of emails with the doctor in between and new ideas.

-Then you would see my college years fade away.

-Replaced would be all of the email job applications I sent out for: Praise and Worship Director, Music Leader, Worship Leader, Worship Coordinator. As I went through these emails I relived the excitement I had over them when someone said they wanted another interview with me. I remember as I would quickly skip over the ones that said they were going in a different direction. Let’s just say there are plenty of these emails of rejection. So why would I keep them? Because they show me where God has brought me. And they show me how His plan is perfect. I can see that now.

-In my email you would see the times I was a worship leader at my church and all the up and down emotions that accompanied that.

-You would see how I was open to anything and anywhere God wanted me to be- Kentucky, Florida, Indiana, California.

-Then you would see an email from a pastor that told me I was overqualified for the position at their church. Then there is his other email he sent me later about First Reformed Church in Byron Center. That email still blows my mind- definitely a God-thing.

-That leads to my first email conversations with Pete and Tim the pastors of 1st Reformed where I work. Suddenly everything fell together.

I rather like it that my email has followed the ups and downs. My email no longer has 1000 emails but there are still 3 full pages that document my life. They remind me that simple words written back and forth to people tell a lot about me. Honestly, its pretty crazy to see all of the tough stuff you went through and how it was all so perfectly planned out to get me where I am today. I am thankful for the emails I have kept of people who were once very important in my life but have faded away now. I am thankful for the emails of inspiration that people have sent my way. And I am thankful for those struggles and bad days- the rejection emails, and the worried emails when I was sick. They remind to be thankful. They remind me that God is good in the tough stuff too. And it reminds me that His plan is best.